The Most Emotionally and Psychologically Traumatizing Day of My Life

Losing One Pet is Difficult, But Losing Three Within 12 Hours is Next Level Devastation

[Author’s note: I just wrote this over the past few hours and am uploading it without editing, so if you see something out of place and not to my standards, that is why. It is 8pm on Sunday, Sep 21st and I need to get Hermes BACK to the emergency vet for more fluids and nausea medication because he is still no eating or getting nutrients. But, his stomach IS healing, so it’s just going to be a matter of time before he is healthy enough to get back to normal life. I will edit this when I have time to do so, but I need to get him there ASAP.]

It all began last Sunday, Sep 14th, when I noticed some mucus and pine needles in the community water bowl on the deck. I had never seen that before over the past 5 months, but I figured one of the puppies just had an upset stomach. Later that night, I found more of that same kind of clear mucus on the floor of the kennel, which all 7 of the puppies shared in the kitchen (well, 6 because I had removed Rajah from the pack a month ago after he was attacked by a few of them). I needed to clean out the kennel and the urine that had run under the freezer and boards in the grout, so I moved them all to their crates.

About an hour later, Tigger had thrown up his entire stomach full of food and was eating it up again. Within a half hour of that, he had emptied his stomach once again, this time leaving the entire cup of food alone. I cleaned it up and figured he just had an upset stomach and would fast him until Monday.

The rest of this story is a bit of a blur and I’m trying to recall all of the events as they occurred to explain exactly how I got to this point, just seven days later, over a week that will go down as probably the worst week of my life after all I’ve been through, but I will try to lay out the facts as I remember them as was reporting to my ex over WhatsApp because she is currently in Europe.

I think I had let Tigger sleep in bed with me on Sunday night because he wasn’t feeling well, so it was Tiger, Amber, Rajah, Tigger and me. My initial thought of what was happening was that he had some kind of intestinal blockage because my backyard is covered in pecan husks and pine cone cores from the squirrels stripping them and dropping them from the pine canopy 80 feet above. So, I was searching for intestinal blockage and what to do. Not having much money (well NO money or income since May), I was trying to avoid the vet if at all possible.

Tiger had swallowed half of a tennis ball a couple years ago and was able to throw it up about 2-3 weeks later, so I was hoping that if it WAS an obstruction, that Tigger (the puppy - Tiger’s son) would be able to do so as well, so I planned to keep a close eye on him as I went about my week.

By Monday evening, I had noticed Tigger still had no appetite, but would drink water, only to throw it up again, and I hadn’t noticed him pooping at all on Monday either, confirming my suspicions that it was some sort of blockage. He was peeing, so I knew he was getting hydration from the water, but he was still throwing some of it up. So, on Monday, I thought I was dealing with one dog with an intestinal obstruction and nothing more. By Monday night I also noticed that he was considerably skinnier than the rest, so I began to wonder if he had whatever was bothering him for a few days and just vomiting outside while I wasn’t watching, so I began to think it may have started anywhere from 48 to 72 hours before Sunday and I just didn’t see any clues.

I was on my last bag of puppy food and within a day or two of running out, so I went to Costco on Tuesday afternoon to stock up on 4 more bags and a few other things. When I got home, I walked in to the most foul smelling odor I had ever smelled coming from a dog. From the looks of it, to me it seems as if it was some kind of projectile vomit because it was mostly white and looked like a kind of mucus, but I couldn’t tell who it came from exactly, as there were 2 dogs in each crate. That was the beginning of nearly non-stop cleaning and almost zero sleep for the next 6 days.

By Tuesday evening, I had begun to suspect something different. After cleaning up what I believed was projectile vomit color, I separated all of the dogs into their own cages to isolate which one it was coming from. By that night, after another bout, I had narrowed it down to Liberty, the only female of the litter, and realized it was not projectile vomit, but explosive diarrhea. Tigger still hadn’t pooped, but now another dog had become ill with something that was causing the most foul smelling thing I had ever smelled coming from a dog, so I began to look for other causes. I searched for Parvo.

I will get deeper into this topic later in this blog, but knowing that germ theory is false and that viruses are NOT the cause of disease, it was difficult to understand what was happening because every bit of literature I found referred to an “aggressive virus,” that if not treated, could lead to death.

Also, on Wednesday, Marley didn’t have any appetite for his food, which is usually gone within 30 seconds, and Rajah ended up throwing up HIS entire dinner in bed at 3:30 am, so now I had 4 dogs that were sick with something. Tigger STILL hadn’t pooped, so the obstruction theory was still in the back of my mind, but now with 3 more dogs sick, I figured I was dealing with something else. I had given Tigger, Liberty, and Marley some raw ground beef on Tuesday night and they were all holding that down, so I figured they were on the mend. They were holding that down, drinking and peeing, so I figured it was something similar that Tiger had dealt with last year when he wouldn’t eat for 2 days, but recovered after 3.

My guess was that something they were chewing on in the backyard was toxic and they were experiencing the effects of that toxicity. Was it the pine cones? Was it the pecans from my neighbor’s tree? Was it poop that hadn’t been cleaned up and made it back into their mouths and stomach? That’s where my mind was by Wednesday night, but I never would have expected what would begin to happen just 48 hours later.

Oh, yeah, Tigger DID end up pooping on Wednesday morning when he went outside first thing in the morning and it was a kind of runny, but solid mass, so I was able to rule out the obstruction theory! It was a huge relief because I really didn’t want to have to deal with the expensive surgery it requires to remove and obstruction.

However, he began to eat again that day and hold it down without vomiting and his stools began to solidify over the next 2 days, so I figured that whatever was going on with the rest, they would follow the same path as Tigger did, regain their appetite in a few days, and all get better by the end of the week.

That’s where I was dead wrong...

By Thursday, the remaining 3 were showing symptoms of upset stomachs as well and I was cleaning around the clock. If it wasn’t vomit in a crate, it was diarrhea. As soon as I finished washing up one mess, I’d have another on my hands to clean up. It was exhausting and I wasn’t able to do anything I had planned on doing last week because literally my entire day was focused on taking care of the dogs and their illness.

But, Tigger was already on the mend by Thursday, eating once again and holding everything down with no problem, so again, I figured that whatever everyone else was exposed to in the back yard was similar and they would all heal up within a few days.

For the rest of Thursday, and into Friday, I was just doing what I could to keep up with the messes my dogs were making. Tigger was eating again and regaining his spunky personality. I believe a few of the others were able to eat as well and were holding their own, once again, confirming my belief that they would all overcome whatever it was they were dealing with.

And, then, the unthinkable happened. It was Friday evening. I had just finished eating my dinner and I noticed that Liberty wasn’t acting “normal.” She seemed to be stumbling when walking and I immediately thought that she needed to get some hydration into her, so I texted my friend, Melissa Burrell, who had found Amber and her litter abandoned in the ditch at the front of their property last year. Because I took one of them in, we’ve become closer over the past year, so I was wondering if she knew of anywhere to get saline solution so I could re-hydrate her with a drip.

Within 10 minutes of that first text to Melissa, Liberty passed away in my arms. I cried out, “NO!!! NO!!!! NOOO!!!!” over and over. My little girl, the only female in the entire litter of 7 had just died in my arms. I was beside myself, crying and wondering how it all went south so fast. I called Melissa to tell her the news and she said she would come over to help me with the others.

I didn’t know what to do. I had never in a million years thought that ANY of my puppies would DIE because Tigger had made a full recovery and a couple others were already on the mend as well. But, now, I was dealing with one dead puppy and 3 more that were about the same as Liberty when she passed away. I became VERY concerned about the well being of Rajah, Mack, and Hermes, because their diarrhea had begun to become very runny over just the past few hours before Liberty passed away.

I went to Walgreens to see if they sold saline solution in the drip bags because they did online, but they don’t carry them in the stores and I obviously couldn’t wait for delivery, so I picked up some Pedialyte to try and rehydrate the other 3 with an eye dropper.

Melissa arrived and we began to take care of Rajah, who suddenly had more frequent diarrhea. I had cleaned up at least 2 messes from him over the past 3 hours, so we figured he was the most in need of attention. We have him some of the Pedialyte diluted with distilled water and he seemed to have perked up a little bit. We then witnessed Mack have diarrhea in the kennel, so our focus went to him next. Marley seemed to be stronger, even though he, too, had some very runny diarrhea, and Hermes wasn’t looking very well, either.

So, we were dealing with 3 very sick dogs and one that was on the edge. I thought all we needed to do was to get them hydrated and they’d be fine. But, it was already Friday night, so the only option for medical care was an emergency vet clinic, which are extremely expensive, and I just don’t have the money for that. Tiger and Amber are both on Lemonade pet insurance and would be covered, but I cannot afford the insurance for 7 additional puppies at the current time, so none of them were covered. We committed to doing whatever it took to keep the rest of these dogs alive.

Rajah seemed to bounce back a little after getting the electrolytes and some raw eggs into his system. But, again, we had no idea what we were dealing with, or at least I didn’t. For the next four hours, we treated, cleaned, and tried to find anywhere that would sell us some saline solution, to no avail.

And then, the nightmare really began. Rajah began to act exactly like Liberty did just 4 hours earlier. He was losing strength rapidly and his eyes began to stare into the distance. He passed away in my arms a little after 1:30 in the morning. I was an absolute WRECK after that. He was the one I had developed the closest relationship with because he had been sleeping with us for the past 4 weeks. He was by far the sweetest and most docile of all 7 puppies, and he just died in my arms. I was beside myself with grief and agony, having now lost TWO puppies.

But, NOW, we still had 2 more that were not looking good. After just losing two of my babies in the past 4 hours, I made the decision that I couldn’t bear the thought of losing any more, so I told Melissa that we had to take Hermes and Mack to the emergency vet. We had no other option or they would surely be dead as well within hours.

On the way to the vet, Mack emptied his bowels into the crate in the back seat. That foul smell once again filled the air. Upon arrival to the clinic closest to me (just 12 minutes from my house), we found out that THREE of their staff had called in “sick” that night and the only remaining doctors on duty had just scrubbed up for a 2-4 hour surgery, so NOW we had to find another 24 hour emergency vet.

The closest one was 25 minutes further away, so I called them and told them my story. They said they’d have a room waiting for us when we arrived. And, just a quick shout out to Blue Pearl Animal Hospital in Spring, TX, for their professionalism and the way they handled my situation.

By the time we arrived, Mack was NOT doing very well. When I got to the back seat, I thought he had already passed away, but he was still holding on. I rushed him in and they got him to the emergency room immediately.

I was given a couple of options for care. In his case, he needed to be hospitalized with constant 24 hour care, but just the admittance and initial cost would be $1500. IF he survived, and that was a very small chance at this point because of the damage that had already been done to his digestive system, I would be looking at anywhere from $5000 to $8000 to save his life. The same for Hermes as well.

The other option was to stabilize them and do at home care, which would cost me roughly $2400, or $1200 per dog. After applying for Care Credit, I was approved for $3600, so I opted for stabilizing both and taking them back home with me because that’s all I could afford with the credit and still have some left for follow up visits with my regular vet.

They suggested I put Mack down there because his blood sugar was already at 30 and his body was shutting down, but he was my favorite one of the entire pack. I was shocked when he came out of Amber and especially when he grew into his personality because who would have ever imagined that a Doberman Pinscher would come out of two brindle coated dogs who looked nothing LIKE a Doberman?!? He was the most joyful and happy of the bunch, and when we ran from the kennel in the kitchen to the back door to go outside, it was Mack who would stop, turn around, and make sure I was coming, as if to say, “are you coming to play with us, too?!” I would hold him in my arms like a baby and he’d put both of his legs over my shoulders as I scratched his back.

We had a very special connection and I couldn’t bear the thought of just putting him down without giving him a fighting chance. So, they did what they could and got his blood sugar back up to 78 upon discharge, which was promising, but they couldn’t make any promises that he’d make it. At least I could show him how much I loved him for the last few hours of his life if he wasn’t able to pull through.

By 6:45, we left the hospital with Mack and Hermes. Hermes’ prognosis was much better, but they said he was still touch and go and would need to have regular vet care until his digestive system healed and he could eat again.

By the time I got home, I was an absolute wreck, exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. I laid Mack down on the dog bed on the couch on a couple of pee-pee pads and laid down next to him. By about 8 am, I knew he wasn’t going to make it, so I laid with him for the next couple of hours, telling him how much I loved him, how sorry I was and how much I will miss him. His descent was the worst of all because they had him on so much sugar that his body wouldn’t die. He howled and cried for over an hour, as the other dogs in their crates looked on.

At 9:30 am, I had thought he had passed, but then a few minutes later, he began to stir again, with more howling and crying. He was a fighter and I KNOW he wanted to stay. But, his body wasn’t going to allow it. The damage was too extreme and nothing, most likely, would have saved him. Not even $8000 and around the clock care. The bacteria had destroyed his digestive system beyond repair. He finally passed at 10:23 am on Saturday morning.

I had now lost 3 of my 7 puppies and I was completely devastated and heartbroken. I had lost my only girl, who had the most beautiful brindle markings on her face and body; I had lost Rajah, who I had grown closest to because he had been rejected by the pack and was an absolute JOY to be around with the sweetest personality, and now, I had lost my beautiful and pure-bred looking Dobie baby, who was the happiest of the bunch. What do you do? I was destroyed...

But, I still had Hermes to care for and ENSURE that HE survives and goes on to live the happy life I know I will give him. He’s the most beautiful of the pack with the most pronounced brindle coloring and the most gorgeous amber eyes, like his Mommy.

And, he is why I am writing this blog for primarily. I need help in saving his life.

The covid psyop destroyed my income and cost me well over $100k in income. When 2020 began, I was completely DEBT FREE with about $12,000 in savings. Today, I am over $80,000 in debt and struggling like I never have in my life. Last week was the week I was FINALLY going to finish up the final videos and advertising to hard launch my business and I did absolutely nothing to make that happen because of what happened with the puppies.

It as by far, the absolute worst week and Friday into Saturday, the absolute worst DAY of my entire life. To lose THREE beloved pets over the span of 12 hours was something I never imagined I would have to deal with in this lifetime, but now I am.

I am doing everything in my power to save Hermes, but I have very limited resources to do so. I am hoping that my business will begin to take off once I have finalized the last few things that need to be done and I can begin to crawl my way out of this hole, but today, I need help to save Hermes’ life. And, given he’s still here on Sunday night, I believe he WILL make it, but it’s going to take a LOT of effort and MORE vet visits to ensure that happens.

I have started a FundRazr campaign called “Helping Hermes Heal” that anyone and everyone can donate to, whatever amount they feel comfortable doing. He has the most amazing personality, too and those puppy dog eyes are looking at me daily for help. I can’t let another dog die on my watch because I don’t have the money to save him.

I had planned on getting into Parvo and the whole terrain/germ theory debate, but this blog has already gotten too long, so I will save that one for later. Because, what I want more than anything is ANSWERS as to why they had to die. I know that what we’re told about this disease is not true, so my question to the world is what DID?! I have my theories that I will flesh out in that blog, but for now, I will wrap this one up.

If you are able to help me out financially, I would be eternally grateful. I need Hermes to make a full recovery and continue being part of this family, because the truth is, they ARE my only family. I have been abandoned by the rest of my family, other than my father, for my relentless pursuit of the truth in all things and my work in helping to show the world a better way to move forward. So, my dogs are my family and I treat them that way. And, I always will.

As I wrap this up and publish it, I need to get Hermes back to the emergency vet for some more hydration and anti-nausea medication. He’s not gotten his appetite back yet and is hesitant in taking in water, so he’s going to need a lot of help still in getting to where he needs to be so that he can begin eating on his own once again.

Tigger, Marley, and Freedom have all made a very good recovery on their own and are doing well, running around like puppies do. But, Hermes needs help in healing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this story and doing what you can to help, even if it’s just sharing the story with others. My blog about what killed 3 of my dogs will be coming in the next few days or week, but I will get around to it because I know it will be able to help others.

Here is the link to the campaign if you would like to help the cause to Help Hermes Heal.

Helping Hermes Heal